Mason Shufeldt 01-03-1883

At night in my room                                Janry 3^rd 1883

                                                                          At sea

Such a dream, such a dream I had of you Elise

this afternoon. I was tired after a very long night

watch so took in my pretty little room with

all the curtains drawn and everything dark.
Shall I tell it to you or would it be “not quite
that way Mace”_ I am a little afraid to
write you too much love Elise_not that I am
afraid of violating the measures of propriety, but
you too my darling are sometimes liable to
misconstrue things, though I try never to
accuse you of anything, that ever I may
sometimes think. I’ll risk it this time and
tell you. I dreamed that in some way we
had quarreled and that I was very very
unhappy. I thought that I could see you far
off somewhere I could not tell exactly
where, but I could see you plainly in the
same cloth dress and big hat I know so
well. Everytime I looked towards you, you
looked away from me and I had that
horrible feeling of separation and bitter
unhappiness that often oppresses our
thoughts in dreams_life! I seemed to be
struggling with something and then passed
before me that faces of many people I knew
or have known_some smiled at me some
laughed and I felt myself sinking
sinking down somewhere, then all became
confused and dark and roaring in my
ears and before my eyes and then still
and quieter and peaceful and I felt
distinctly against my ear the soft lips
of some person and upon my cheek the
soft breath of a woman. I slipped
my hand down the bare arm that touched
my shoulder and interlaced with my
 fingers the clinging hand they reached.
Then Elise we pressed our faces close
together and sealed our lips with warm
kisses many and between each kiss
I thought you touched my heart with
Love while I flung both strong arms
around you, felt your heart beat
against mine in mad frolic at the
touch. I struggled fiercely with a
 terrible desire to tell you how much I loved
you . How much _ how fiercely_ but I could
not find the words. I could only press
you to my breast_hold you there while
my hungry lips wandered over cheeks that
were warm with love, eyes that were closed
in still happiness, hair that loose and
tangled fell upon my encircling arms.
I am not going to tell you any more. I
am afraid to write of my wild passionate
dreams to you, but I have these all the
same and they give me an insight into
my own nature that I better keep to myself
until later when I come home and
something happens. We are far at sea
as I write. I have made at the end of
this letter a little chart which includes
the ocean span from Norfolk to the
Cape De Verde Islands. This little map
shows the surrounding countries and
oceans. On the opposite page is a graph
of latitude, and longitudes taken each
day at noon, which each day I will plot
on the chart and thus actually spot our
position corresponding to the journal I
write each day to you. So you can see at
a glance exactly I what part of the
world or the ocean I was when I wrote certain
things to you. Don’t you think the idea a
pretty one darling? I do. I have allowed my
self a page each day to write. That will about
fill this letter at the time of our arrival.
I have much exceeded my allowance today.
I love you_ I love you_ I love you better
far than my life. My wife that is to be
I love you_ goodnight_ God bless you.